Is Your Self-Talk Nasty?

How Nasty Is Your Self-Talk?

Here’s what I mean.  When it’s time to pick up the phone and talk to someone about your business, do you say things like:

•    They are too successful, they would never do this.
•    They already have a great job (or business).
•    They are too busy.
•    They’re too successful to listen to me.
•    I haven’t made enough money YET to talk to THAT person.
•    I can’t recruit high level, powerful, professional people, why would they listen to me?
•    I’m not making big money (heck I’m not making consistent money), why would they work with me?
•    I don’t know those people, never mind being able to recruit them onto my team.
•    I don’t know enough, what if they said yes!
•    How can I tell a professional what to do?

If this is the kind of abusive self-talk you hear between your ears, you can do a few things.

(1)  You can ignore it and keep running your story “about why they “won’t” (and keep getting the same results).
(2)  You can work with an excellent therapist to find out ‘why’ you do this.
(3)  You can work the Awareness is Curative Tool in this article.

After working with that therapist, there is a great chance you will learn that your very good intentioned (or not) mom, dad, aunt, teacher, brother, sister – whomever or whatever -  while probably trying to protect you, crimped your ability to soar.  Because of their own fears, they took away your self-confidence to make sure you didn’t take chances that might hurt you.  Good intentions with disastrous consequences.

Good News

Here is the good news.  If you  decide to be proactive you can ban the self-talk now and save yourself lots of time and money in the bargain.  Your self-talk is learned.  You were not born thinking this way.  If you were born with these limiting statements in your head, you would never have defied gravity and learned to walk!

Because it was learned, you can unlearn it.  Oh yes, it will take practice (that’s the proactive part).  You have, after all, been repeating some of this self-deprecating chatter for a while.  Your self-abuse chatter (think about it, it is self-abuse telling yourself how you aren’t good enough or aren’t capable much of the time) is now a habit.  Probably a well ingrained habit.  It will take some time, practice and consciousness to replace that chatter with something worth listening to.  But heads-up, I did it (Jillian coming at you here), and if I can do it so can you.  And no my self-talk isn’t perfect, but it’s way better.  Plus, I catch myself now and often in real time!

CAVEAT

There is no good self-talk to cover up not knowing what to do or how to do it.  We can boost our self-esteem from now until the cows come home, but if you are not on top of your business, ‘hot air’ will not make the day.  Please don’t mix up, abusive (you’re not capable) self chatter with lacking the business skills (or any other skills) to professionally run your business.    If you don’t have the skills to present your business in a professional straight forward manner, eventually, that will catch up with you great self-esteem or not.

That does not mean you need to make money before someone successful will listen to you.  Don’t confuse,  “I haven’t made enough money YET to talk to THAT person” with not having the skill set to talk to anyone you choose too.  It does not matter how much money you have made in your business or anywhere else, that’s not the criteria.

People new to our industry approach successful people all the time, and they do it with success and confidence.  The amount of money you have made has nothing to do with your ability to make the potential in your business come alive for someone else.  It is making it come alive that’s the trick.

Make Your Business Come Alive

If you are ready to know how to make your business come alive for others, watch your email on Wednesday, March 23nd for information on the four month Professional Prospector Course.  It will blow your socks off.  You’ll learn to set up future meetings with people who are excited to talk with you.  And when you talk to that person, you’ll have the skill set to bring your business opportunity alive.  They’ll get the big picture and how it will work for them, because you’ll know exactly how to present it, every time to everyone.

These are exactly the skills and tools that Amy Posner used to create $801,311 per month in volume in her business within five years.  They work.  They obviously worked not just for Amy but for her entire team too.  No one creates $801,311 on their own.  It takes a team pulling together and all making money for that kind of volume to happen.  Are you ready?  Watch your email on wednesday, March 23nd for details.

Now Let’s Get that Nasty Self-Talk

By the way,the Power Prospector course will help you trash the trash in your head and get you thinking about you in the right way.  We’ll work with you to craft your positive ‘in the now’ statements to feed your brain.  But let’s get you started right now.

Reprogramming your brain sounds like it might be difficult.  It is not really.  The difficulty is in accountability not the actual process.  Why isn’t re-programming your brain difficult?  Awareness is Curative. Rather than explain what we mean by that, just do this simple (and easy) exercise.  There is nothing here that you can’t do.  Absolutely nothing.  This is not hard.  It is a process and you just have to do it.  (And yes, in the Power Prospector course we will help you to stay accountable to these easy steps.)  For at least a week, take it on faith that it will become OBVIOUS to you what we mean by Awareness is Curative if you do the process.

Here are the four (4) simple steps that can help you to create the kind of self-talk that will feed your self-esteem not destroy it:

Step 1  -  Grab a piece of plain 8 ½ X 11 paper and put today’s date at the very top left corner.  Put this piece of paper on a clip board that you can (AND WILL) hang or lean on a vertical service close to your desk.  Do not put it on your desk.  We are setting this up to not get lost on your desk.  Thus hang it.  It might be easier to put it on the floor and lean it again your desk.  Set it up so you don’t have to look for it.  Make it easy to find at a moment’s notice.  And do it NOW.

Make sure:
•    That NOTHING goes on top of it – ever
•    You can put your hands on it easily and quickly – always

Did we make that clear?

Step 2 – What would you like your self-talk to be?  Here’s one thought.  Instead of saying,  They are too successful to listen to me. How about saying something like, With all the money this business venture offers, they are bound to be interested in hearing about it.

Instead of saying, I don’t know them they won’t listen to me. How about saying something like, They look like successful people who keep their options open, I’ll bet they’d be willing to check this out.

Here’s the point.  Do we know if either of these statements are true.  Not really.  We are creating our own reality here.  Which reality do you want to create.  The one that stops you dead in your tracks before you begin?  Or, would you rather start with the realty that opens door after door for people who are open and interested?  Hmmm?
Pick Up A Pen

Yes, Pick up a pen , RIGHT NOW and spend whatever time you need to, in order to write positive self-talk statements.  You may need a few of them.  That’s OK.  BUT WRITE THEM DOWN NOW.  If you cannot stop right now and do this short exercise – that will absolutely revolutionize the way you think and live – put a time in your calendar to get it done.  NOW.  Book the time now.  Do yourself a huge favor and either do the exercise or allocate time in your schedule to get it done (non-negotiable time, do this for you).

(TIP – This is the toughest part of the exercise.  Please write your alternate statements.  If you need help at the bottom of this eNewsletter send us your questions, we’ll help you (and you’ll be helping others by asking.  Go on help yourself and share the wealth.  ASK!)

Step 3 – Everytime your self-talk is nasty, grab that plain piece of paper and enter a hash mark.  Just a line.  Nothing else.  The key here is to enter the hash mark EVERY TIME you talk nasty to yourself under current date.  Hash marks are easy to count.  Do four marks and then a cross mark.  It makes counting in fives easy.  Everyday put the date just under the last row of hash marks and start anew.

(TIP – This is an easy step to say, I’ll do it later.  DO NOT do it later.  Interrupt yourself each time you catch yourself in self-abuse talk.  EACH TIME, stop yourself and put down the hash mark.  This step is the meat and potatoes of this exercise.  This step is crucial to making the entire process work.  Do it for you.)

Step 4 – Right after you’ve placed your hash mark on the page, think about what you want to say to yourself, rather than what you did say.  Grab your Positive Self-Talk Statements list, pick the right phrase that counteracts what you did say.  (If you don’t have a good phrase, add it to your list.)  Say the new self-esteem boosting phrase out loud.

Brain Candy

Think of this step as brain candy.  All of us like candy (make mine very dark chocolate).  Your brain is no exception.  Feed your brain this wonderful self-talk candy everyday and one day you’ll realize that your brain thinks the world of you.  No more demoralizing self-talk.  Your brain encourages you to be who you are:  Bold, Beautiful and Bountiful.

Go for it.   After all, what do you have to lose but nasty self-talk.  You deserve so much better… so much better.  Go for it.