Is it true your opinion of me is none of my business?

I’m Not Like You Jillian

This last week I was taken aback while working with Kate (not her real name) a client in our Power Prospecting program. We were talking about why picking up the phone to call people was so difficult for her and she said to me, “I’m not like you Jillian, I don’t have your thick skin. I care what people think of me. And I don’t really want to change.”

She was just as surprised when she learned that, I do care what people think and I can get my feelings hurt just as quickly as the next person. Plus, I can get really nervous about doing cetain things or talking to some people. She was floored. She really thought I wasn’t afraid and didn’t give a hoot what people thought of me. Not hardly!

Most of Us Are Vulnerable Somewhere

For the most part EVERYONE cares what people think of them (even the not so warm and fuzzy MLM coach!). It’s catchy and maybe fun to say, “What people think of me is none of my business.” But, it isn’t realistic. And I’d offer that that attitude is of NO real value to us. There is great feedback in someone’s opinion of us, great feedback. We don’t have to own what they say, but if you hear the same thing (or similar) from more than one person – well there just might be something there for us to take a look at.

Here’s the deal folks. Most of us are vulnerable to getting our feelings hurt and we worry about failing when we go into new territory. I would call that healthy functional behavior. It gives us pause and encourages us to prepare well for the new task at hand.

What isn’t healthy functional behavior is trying to make ourselves totally unafraid or to tell ourselves that we need to become so thick skinned we don’t care what others think. Of course, we care what others’ think. And, of course, from time to time we are going to fail. At least, that is, you’re going to fail if you’re doing something new. And if you’re not doing something new, you have a different problem. Boredom.

Catch 22

This was a big moment for Kate. She realized she had trapped herself in a catch 22 by believing she needed skin like a rhinoceros in order to successfully run her MLM business but she didn’t want emotional skin like a rhino. Now she saw that it wasn’t the fear of making calls that stopped her from moving forward, it was the fear she was going to have to become someone else in order to be successful.

Will the Real You Please Stand Up

Like Kate, you don’t have to change your core values to operate your business. Sometimes just becoming aware of your limiting beliefs is enough to set you free to begin your journey to being your best.

What limiting belief do you need to let go of?