…And How Are YOU Playing these days?

I came home to a voice mail from Ruthie, a really good friend. The message was short but it ended with Ruth painfully proclaiming, “Well another lousy golf game today.”

It is spring here in Seattle and Ruth is ready to get her golf game out of the winter closet and back on line. Her golfing buddies of the last couple of years weren’t available to play this year so she found herself looking for new ones.

Ruth is a professional food server in a high end restaurant here in Seattle. She’s the kind of woman you love to have serve you. She listens well and asks questions to clarify your preferences and just generally makes everything to make your dining experience enjoyable gets done.

Even though Ruth is in the public service sector of our economy I would not classify her as particularly “outgoing.”

In fact I’d say that Ruth is really a bit of an introvert. She re-fuels either by being alone or with a friend or two playing golf.

But in order for Ruth to play golf this year she was going to have to meet other golfers. She found herself having to join a ‘golfing club” — something way out of her comfort zone. Now she’s in the company of lots of other women during the time she’d really like to be recharging.

But worse, her relaxing game of golf just got really serious. Ruth has to determine her handicap. That means every stroke counts. Every one.

No longer is the game just for fun and a way to relax! Suddenly every stroke is being recorded and used to determine just how “good” her golf game is.

Ruth is now focused on the one thing she has absolutely no control over, the “results” of her golf game.

It all sounds a bit familiar doesn’t it? Now, what I know about golf you can put into a thimble and shake, but I asked Ruth if she’d play along with me for a minute to see if we could take some of the pressure off. Even if you’re not a golfer, I think you’ll be curious how we did this…

I asked her how she felt when she got up to hit the ball. “Tense. I know that every shot counts toward that handicap.” As Ruth talked a bit more she realized that she was also afraid she might not remember exactly how many shots she took so she was being hyper vigilant about writing it down. Bottom line Ruth was acutely aware of her score every time she picked up her club.

What was Ruth focused on? Results, results and more results.

I asked Ruth, “What do you think you need to remove to make your game more fun?”

She said that when she played with her old friends for the last couple of years there was no pressure on score. She cared and felt good when she played a “really good game” but there wasn’t the pressure to do so. If she didn’t need to be so vigilant about her score it might help.

In thinking about that, Ruth remembered a “stroke counter” she’d seen, a keychain-looking thing with beads on it that worked a bit like an abacus. If Ruth got one of these she wouldn’t need to remember her score until after the hole was finished. She would just move a bead over and at the end of the hole count them up.

Ruth and I have been friends for years. We share the belief that awareness is in and of itself curative. But often we work too hard at trying to fix something rather than trusting in watching ourselves as we move through the activity. In this case Ruth was trading the fun in her golf game for worry about the number of strokes it took to move the ball toward the hole.

What needed to change? Not her golf stroke but what she was feeling and thinking as she was taking her stroke. So along with the stroke counter Ruth decided to simply be aware of how much she was enjoying her game (or not!) as she played.

Can you see the similarities between golf and MLM? Can you relate to the feeling of struggle Ruth was working through? Maybe you’ve lost the ‘fun’ in your business lately too.

We spend so much energy worrying about our recruiting results or product sales (golf score) that we eat up the fun we can have if we just enjoyed ourselves in the process.

I think we can find simple tools to make our work easier too…

Do you have your elevator speech ready to go so you don’t have to “think” about what to say when someone says “What do you do?” Do you have a good referral card ready to hand someone to make your close easier or leave the road open for a call later? Are you ready with a comfortable way to ask for referrals?

These are easy tools much like Ruth’s stroke counter that will take the pressure off.

And here’s something you can do right this minute that will take almost no energy and every one of us can do it.

• Be aware of how you’re feeling when you’re working your business.

• Be aware of how you’re feeling when you’re doing the admin duties.

• How are you feeling when you’re talking to a team mate?

• How are you feeling when you’re talking to someone about your product?

• How are you feeling when you’re talking to a prospective business builder?

Then ask yourself what is it that is preventing you from having a better more enjoyable time while you do these things. Not only might the answers surprise you, but I’ll bet things start changing simply because you are aware.

Take a few minutes now and write some answers down won’t you? You might just find the fun in your business again.

As for Ruth, I’m not sure what will happen to her game, but I’ll let you know. And I’d love to know about any changes you see in yours.