In my last ezine we talked about being focused on results and how that typically produces exactly what we don’t want…less than stellar results.

Why? Because being focused on the one piece over which we have little or no control – the end result – typically makes us anxious. That makes sense too doesn’t it? If you’re trying to control something you don’t have any control over one can realistically expect that would produce some mental distress!

And I don’t know about you, but when I’m under mental stress I’m not functioning at my best! And if I’m not functioning at my best my confidence level starts to dip too. How about you?

What’s the best way to handle this? Focus on what you do have control over. Not sure what that is? Go look in the mirror. In the end friends the only thing we have any control over at all is ourselves.

Don’t toss this down or hit delete just yet. I know those are only words. I know it’s not always easy to “get a grip.” But I have a few tricks to help you get ‘you” on a smoother path.

In the last ezine I coached you through some things that you can control and that will ultimately boost your results. And more importantly add much more enjoyment to anything you’re doing. I know that’s a big claim but if you’re willing to do some things a bit differently you will have more fun all the time.

Remember Ruth and her “lousy golf game” from our last ezine issue? Her score was way too high and she wasn’t having any fun. Ruth did two things last week and only two things differently.

First, she bought herself a tool that allowed her to free up her mind during each hole from worrying about how many strokes she was taking. She didn’t have to remember her “ever mounting score” anymore the “stroke counter” would take care of that.

Second, she agreed that when she realized she wasn’t enjoying herself she was going to ask herself, “What do I need to remove in order to have more fun.”

Now I’d like to tell you that Ruth’s score improved by 10 points but it didn’t. Well it sort of did! And yes, Ruth would tell you that her game improved. Why? Because she didn’t have the same angst while playing. And the part of her game that Ruth was stressing over, her putting, did improve greatly. As she said to me if my driving game hadn’t gone “to pot” I would have shaved 10 points off my score.

She was actually stoked. Because she did see improvement. And because she knows she can drive better than she did she felt it is only a matter of time before her game becomes more consistent at the lower score. She also realized that she could use a new driver. She was probably costing herself distance in her game because of a less than stellar tool.

Ok so how do you take these “golfing tips” and use them in your business so you can enjoy your business more?

What do I mean “be aware”? Check yourself out. Literally. How’s the stomach. Got a knot in it? Are you hands clenched tight? Do you feel like you’ve got to think about breathing? What’s going on with you?

In other words you’re going to start to pay attention to how you feel.

When do you do this? ALL THE TIME.

• Be aware of how you’re feeling when you’re doing desk work (those administrative duties).
• How are you feeling when you’re talking to team mates?
• How do you feel when you’re talking to someone about your products?
• What’s going on with you when you’re interviewing a possible new recruit?

Then the next question you ask yourself is:

What do I need to remove in order to feel better?

Ruth realized a golf stroke counter – a simple tool would help her take her eyes off her score. Next she’s going to try out some new drivers to help her distance. But the biggest thing she did was simply pay attention to how much fun she was having.

If you’ve worked with me before or read this ezine then you know that I believe and coach that awareness is curative. In other words things generally improve simply because you’re aware – paying attention!

And folks you have full control over that. It may take some practice but you do have control over that.

Bottom line: You can keep doing what you’re doing now and feel exactly like you feel or….you can get a grip on you by trying something different.

What’s it going to be? The ball is in your court.

And if you’re ready to put your “business card” to work for you check out my “Referral Card” program. Talk about a confidence builder! We start Monday.

Click Here to Register

…And How Are YOU Playing these days?

I came home to a voice mail from Ruthie, a really good friend. The message was short but it ended with Ruth painfully proclaiming, “Well another lousy golf game today.”

It is spring here in Seattle and Ruth is ready to get her golf game out of the winter closet and back on line. Her golfing buddies of the last couple of years weren’t available to play this year so she found herself looking for new ones.

Ruth is a professional food server in a high end restaurant here in Seattle. She’s the kind of woman you love to have serve you. She listens well and asks questions to clarify your preferences and just generally makes everything to make your dining experience enjoyable gets done.

Even though Ruth is in the public service sector of our economy I would not classify her as particularly “outgoing.”

In fact I’d say that Ruth is really a bit of an introvert. She re-fuels either by being alone or with a friend or two playing golf.

But in order for Ruth to play golf this year she was going to have to meet other golfers. She found herself having to join a ‘golfing club” — something way out of her comfort zone. Now she’s in the company of lots of other women during the time she’d really like to be recharging.

But worse, her relaxing game of golf just got really serious. Ruth has to determine her handicap. That means every stroke counts. Every one.

No longer is the game just for fun and a way to relax! Suddenly every stroke is being recorded and used to determine just how “good” her golf game is.

Ruth is now focused on the one thing she has absolutely no control over, the “results” of her golf game.

It all sounds a bit familiar doesn’t it? Now, what I know about golf you can put into a thimble and shake, but I asked Ruth if she’d play along with me for a minute to see if we could take some of the pressure off. Even if you’re not a golfer, I think you’ll be curious how we did this…

I asked her how she felt when she got up to hit the ball. “Tense. I know that every shot counts toward that handicap.” As Ruth talked a bit more she realized that she was also afraid she might not remember exactly how many shots she took so she was being hyper vigilant about writing it down. Bottom line Ruth was acutely aware of her score every time she picked up her club.

What was Ruth focused on? Results, results and more results.

I asked Ruth, “What do you think you need to remove to make your game more fun?”

She said that when she played with her old friends for the last couple of years there was no pressure on score. She cared and felt good when she played a “really good game” but there wasn’t the pressure to do so. If she didn’t need to be so vigilant about her score it might help.

In thinking about that, Ruth remembered a “stroke counter” she’d seen, a keychain-looking thing with beads on it that worked a bit like an abacus. If Ruth got one of these she wouldn’t need to remember her score until after the hole was finished. She would just move a bead over and at the end of the hole count them up.

Ruth and I have been friends for years. We share the belief that awareness is in and of itself curative. But often we work too hard at trying to fix something rather than trusting in watching ourselves as we move through the activity. In this case Ruth was trading the fun in her golf game for worry about the number of strokes it took to move the ball toward the hole.

What needed to change? Not her golf stroke but what she was feeling and thinking as she was taking her stroke. So along with the stroke counter Ruth decided to simply be aware of how much she was enjoying her game (or not!) as she played.

Can you see the similarities between golf and MLM? Can you relate to the feeling of struggle Ruth was working through? Maybe you’ve lost the ‘fun’ in your business lately too.

We spend so much energy worrying about our recruiting results or product sales (golf score) that we eat up the fun we can have if we just enjoyed ourselves in the process.

I think we can find simple tools to make our work easier too…

Do you have your elevator speech ready to go so you don’t have to “think” about what to say when someone says “What do you do?” Do you have a good referral card ready to hand someone to make your close easier or leave the road open for a call later? Are you ready with a comfortable way to ask for referrals?

These are easy tools much like Ruth’s stroke counter that will take the pressure off.

And here’s something you can do right this minute that will take almost no energy and every one of us can do it.

• Be aware of how you’re feeling when you’re working your business.

• Be aware of how you’re feeling when you’re doing the admin duties.

• How are you feeling when you’re talking to a team mate?

• How are you feeling when you’re talking to someone about your product?

• How are you feeling when you’re talking to a prospective business builder?

Then ask yourself what is it that is preventing you from having a better more enjoyable time while you do these things. Not only might the answers surprise you, but I’ll bet things start changing simply because you are aware.

Take a few minutes now and write some answers down won’t you? You might just find the fun in your business again.

As for Ruth, I’m not sure what will happen to her game, but I’ll let you know. And I’d love to know about any changes you see in yours.

In today’s Coach’s Corner, I’d like us to think about the difference between short and long-term thinking in our businesses. It’s worth exploring, especially if you feel you do a lot of rushing around…

As with everything at Savvy Sponsoring Strategies, feel free to use the coaching questions at the bottom with your team.

A Solution Versus An Answer

Definitions

Solution – the process of resolving a difficulty

Answer – something needed to address a question or problem

Comparisons

immediate vs. long-term

Example

Jeannie thought that the answer to her financial concerns was to increase the sales of her business. In fact, the solution was to double profitability through cutting costs, improving leadership, and letting go of unproductive team members.

Key Point

An answer is an immediate response to what appears to be the problem. A solution is an approach that goes to the source of the problem and prevents it from recurring.

Benefits

Look beyond temporary answers to permanent solutions.

Your Coach’s Corner Questions:

Are you in your business for the long haul? Even if you’re not sure, are you behaving as if you’re ‘just trying it out?’ How might you be wasting time and energy addressing
short-term problems?

What problem have you been fixing over and over again? What is the source of the problem and how might you solve it permanently?

The distinction “Solution versus Answer’ was originally created by Isabel Parlett and Thomas Leonard. Copyright 97, 98, 99, 00, 2001 CoachVille.

I find it very hard to follow the logic of war and make sense of the innocent people who die or who are compromised for the rest of their lives because of a political/religious fight. And although the news is heart breaking every day as so many are killed in Iraq and Afghanistan on both sides of the struggle, I’m also saddened to say that I had grown somewhat immune to the daily numbers of deaths. I didn’t realize that until the news about Virginia Tech and how it jolted me back to my senses. It seems harder when tragedy strikes closer to home.

It is such a bold reminder how quickly life can change – completely – for any of us in just a moment. Although I don’t think of myself as being a nationalist, maybe it was because it happened on my national soil that it literally shocked me back to my senses, to my feelings. I prefer to see the earth as a whole and we’re all connected and in this life together. But communities vary in size and in personal connection and what happened last Monday shook me to my core. My heart hurts.

If there is any “good” that comes out of such heartbreak for me, it is that people all over the world become people again and not statistics.

For any of you who are directly touched by the tragedies across the globe or at Virginia Tech we send our prayers, healing energy and white light to you and yours.

Peace
Jillian

In nearly every class I teach, someone sheepishly confesses: “I have call reluctance.”

When I ask, “What do you mean?” it turns out to be anything from making the initial call to doing a follow-up call. And as soon as I ask “anyone else” I hear, “me too,” or “so do I” from what sound like relieved voices.

It seems that although many of us have this overgrown bully of a telephone, we are not any more comfortable admitting it than we are picking it up!

Yesterday Carol was the brave student in my Wednesday How to Be a Savvy Sponsor program who said, that her phone felt like it weighed 500 pounds and was stuck to the receiver. And then there was the chorus of “me too.”

When I ask why the reluctance the answers differ.

Some say, “I’m not sure what to say.” For others it is fear about what the other person will say. For a lot of you the answer is simply, “I don’t know, I’m just afraid.” But sooner or later it becomes evident that bottom line:

We fear we’re not going to get our intended result. That we will once again fail.

In a business that takes lots of calls to build success this is the kiss of death. It typically means we are not willing to “keep at it” long enough to build a sustainable business.

This is a big statement but you can break through this mind set. It will take some work on your part (but what doesn’t) but it is doable. Very doable.

Peggy, a student in another of my Savvy Sponsor programs is beginning to break through just this issue. And Peggy had a bad case of “call reluctance.”

But Peggy’s call reluctance and her fear is being replaced by curiosity.

Strange huh? But it is.

And it’s not that she’s suddenly “sponsoring all over place” but her approach is
totally different.

Take a look at the triangle below (or pyramid if you prefer ). (The work triange is borrowed shamelessly from Tim Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Work.

In order for this exercise to help you exchange your fear for curiosity we need to agree that enjoyment, learning and results are interdependent. In other words for your results (or performance) to be any good on the job (any job) you also need to be enjoying what you do and learning as you
do it.

That said, where do you think the most emphasis is placed in this triangle? If we go back to Carol and Peggy’s experience and that of most of us, the answer is simple….it’s all
about results.

But do you really have control over your results? Not usually. Even if you’re not dealing with someone else (like making calls in your business) but are simply dealing with yourself – say in a sport – or maybe a better example would be yoga.

How much control do you really have to make yourself perfect in each of your yoga practices? Right not much and it’s
your body.

But you do have control over how much enjoyment you put into your yoga practice. And you have control over how you reflect over your practice to learn more about your body and yoga techniques.

By the way, what do you think would give you the best results in a yoga practice?

(a) To be all uptight about how well or how long you can hold a pose – (results)
(b) To enjoy every moment of the exercise and be curious to see what you’ve learned about how your body is changing
and feeling?

100 points for the right answer.

Now let’s think about picking up that 500 pound phone
of yours.

What do you think would happen if you:

(a) Found way to make every call more enjoyable –
every call…
(b) Took a moment after every call to check out how you felt while you were dialing and when you were talking.

Imagine “debriefing” yourself, that is, checking in to see what you could learn about yourself and maybe what you learned about the person you were talking with. Do this often enough and you just might find that instead of angst over each call you’ll begin to feel like Peggy and be curious about the
next call.

Like most things this is easier (and more fun) if it’s done with someone else. So get with your teams and debate away. I promise, you phone will start to drop pounds.

Click Here to Register

Did you ever wonder what using a powerful business presentation would do for your business?

In building a business it is important to spend the time you work, your store hours, doing things for which you get paid. That is why we are in business isn’t it?

Now we all know the necessity of contacting business prospects. We understand the importance of getting the information about what we do into their hands and showing how we can help them fulfill their dream. Right?

We have been taught we are in the ‘people business’. To make our business prosper we need to sponsor people. All that is true. But what does it mean and how do we do that??? And how do we coach our downlines to do that?

Isn’t this where many of us fumble and stumble around? I know I did! I didn’t know what to say or do or how to relate to people when I called them. I remember well the first time I went to show my business. All I had was a canned presentation that belonged to someone else. I was terrified! I prayed they wouldn’t show up! And guess what? They didn’t! I was so relieved but what a dilemma. I knew I had to present to build a business yet I never wanted another appointment as long as I lived! Does anyone relate to this personally? How many of you see it in your teams? So I looked at ways around this problem. In our industry there are many! Sizzle lines, websites, upline conference calls, Internet leads, chat rooms, blogs and on and on. These are good things in their time and place.

I suggest however, they are also ways to distract us from the heart of our business. The heart is the personal contact that puts the ‘people’ back in ‘people business’. The heart is the relationship that is built between you and the person you meet. This is what makes people successful in network marketing – the people business.

And to do this well what do you need? Isn’t it a combination of how to relate to those prospects in real life and what to present about yourself and your personal brand of business that leads to the belief in the dream – their dream?

If this makes sense to you then join me on April 2nd for a six-week experience in creating that presentation. The perfect personal presentation that you can present at any time, anywhere, with anyone and know that you have done it well.

Oh, and folks, pass this on to your downlines so they can take part in it also! Why? Isn’t that what leaders do?

I hope to see you there!

Click here for more information or to register. (Registration for the 6-Week Course is located at the bottom of the page.)

Not sure if the 6-Week program will work for you? Find out by joining us for a Free Introductory Call – “Does My Business Presentation Need Help?” on Monday, March 26th, 2007. Register Now!

How many of you believe that being a leader in MLM means that you’re a sponsor?

If you said yes, so do I.

How many of you believe that being a sponsor in MLM means that you’re a leader?

If you said no, we’re on the same page again.

Obviously, that’s a major problem. Here’s the disconnect as I see it.

A leader is

Mentor
People Developer
Inspires Desire
Liberates

In short: Empowers other to become leaders.

This is what I see lots of sponsors doing

Protector
Important
Motivator
Inhibit

In short: Being way too important to too many people.

Three times this week as I was talking to sponsors with good downlines — not huge — but good downlines and these people were between a rock and a very hard place. They didn’t want to ask their downlines to pay for the “No More 3-Foot Rule Call on March 19th. And it was hugely stressful for them. They wanted their people to hear the call. They wanted them to learn how to talk to strangers and how to do it quickly and with class .. but they were worried about asking them to spend the money!

Yikes…

Folks we are building businesses here and just like every other business in order to make that happen we must — yes, must — give up our need to protect or to be overly important. Ouch, I know that one hurts. But it often is the issue. It sounds like this, “No one does it better than me, I’ll just get it done.”

Building a successful MLM business means you get better at all the money making activities necessary to increase your revenue. That doesn’t happen overnite and it doesn’t come out of a vacumn. It takes an investment of time, practice and yes money…and it’s your job as a leaders/sponsor to create that kind of culture for the sake of everyone’s success.

If you’re the sponsor that protects, solves problems, motivates and then motivates again (’cause motiviation never lasts if it doesn’t come from inside) then you are inhibiting the growth of both your business and the leadership of the people you sponsor.

When you inhibit the development of business mentality you foster a culture of entitlement not leadership.

Think about it. What business do you know that became successful with this kind of thinking? And because too many of us think that MLM is different from other businesses (although I disagree) let’s keep it just about MLM.

Who in your company do you think made it big and never spent time or money learning for themselves how to be better at being a sponsor, a recruiter, or a relationship builder? hmmmmm

I’m not saying pass everything you see to your downline. But if you think something has value tell them why and let them make their own decisions.

I know being a sponsor can be tough. It is not always clear when to jump in and “do” vs stay out and let them do for themselves and maybe fail.

But folks, if you don’t have people making mistakes and getting “no’s” and debriefing with you afterward — well I’ll bet you don’t have people getting any “yeses” either.

What do you think?

If you would like more information or you would like to join us on the class “No More 3-Foot Rule Call on March 19th, click here for more information or to register.

It was exciting to see the number of you who posted blog comments, sent me emails and called because of my blog article, If you ‘do’ the three foot rule — stop it now.

We certainly hit a nerve! Do you know why? Because that kind of recruiting tactic often comes off cheesy, unprofessional and just downright rude too many times and we feel icky when we do it.

That’s borne out by your emails. so many of you using the tactic are uncomfortable and like Sara said in her comment, “I’m so relieved..not to have to use the 3-foot rule technique.”

The number one question I was asked, “If not the three foot rule what do we do to build in the cold market?”

Marlin said, “if the three rule is not where it’s at, then what would you suggest..[I] ask for referrals and people won’t give them to you..?”

Megan admitted, “I was encouraged to work the 3-foot rule, and I do talk to a lot of people, but if I was really honest with myself, I HAVE NEVER SPONSORED, OR BROUGHT SOMONE INTO MY BUSINESS THIS WAY. I have learned that truly SAVVY people form relationships, they don’t “business card bomb” as I call it Thanks for this blog, it’s so true.”(All the emphasis here was Megan’s emphasis not mine.)

Sara was specifically asked, “How about a coaching call..to learn effective techniques..for chatting with strangers in the grocery store and piquing their curiosity.” (By the way, great close Sarah!)

And that’s exactly what we are going to do.

A 90 minute coaching call that includes:

The mike will be open – so ask your questions and get what you need and want.

The call happens on Monday, March 19th at 5:30 pm pacific time, 6:30 mountain time, 7:30 central and 8:30 eastern.

Don’t wait until the phone lines are gone, reserve your place on the call now.

>> Click to Register

Thanks so much to Megan, Dena and Nicole for taking the time out of busy schedules to think about and comment on the “Three Foot Rule.”

We all know MLM is about building relationships. But then we contradict ourselves and tell downlines to talk to anyone they can touch!

I think Nicole your hunting and farming metaphor is right on. Those of us out there hunting with that 3-foot rule stand a good chance of not only missing our “target” but also of shooting ourselves in the foot!

Dena you also hit the nail on the head when you talked simply of being real. Unfortunately being real can at times be anything but simple. We’ve all had lots of lessons in making sure we don’t look pushy, don’t look hungry, don’t look too eager, but look eager enough. It’s no wonder real feels a bit “unreal.”

Megan you said you’ve used the 3-foot rule but realized you’d not brought anyone into your business through it. Not many of us have brought too many people into our businesses from the 3-foot rule. But it does happen.

I think it’s important to be REALLY CLEAR (sorry for shouting) that I’m not saying never talk to strangers. What I’m saying is use your head. Be professional and coach and mentor that to your downline. The use your head part…

You can do your business in a myriad of ways including the 3-foot rule. But the 3-foot rule is not everywhere all the time.

And this is not permission to use your fear to stop you from talking to someone. I’m happy to be used for lots of purposes but not to make it easier for you to stay out of money making activity.

You do need to talk to people. You need to be in constant contact with people in order to grow your business. Period.

Ok, seems that this would be a great topic for a coaching call. Watch for time and cost (we’ll keep it cheap) and make it happen soon.

You can be really good at the 3-foot rule because you know:

How to use it
When to use it
And How to be real while using it

Watch for the date and time.

How many of you practice and teach the “Three Foot Rule”?

It goes something like this – if someone is within three feet of you then talk about your company or your product.

If you do this, please stop it now. Without knowing it you’re helping to run the reputation of the network marketing industry into the ground.

Yep, into the ground.

And you’re killing your new business builders.

This week (like most weeks) I got a call from a distraught business builder who asks, “How can I introduce my product or business to people I don’t know? My upline says I’m supposed to talk to everybody I meet.”

How many of you have been told when you go to a party to look for a way to bring up your company or your product?

How many of you have been told to join the Chamber of Commerce (or just go to the mixers) and pass out your cards and “listen for a need” so you can talk to people about your business?

How many of you really feel comfortable doing this? For what it’s worth according to the people I coach not many of us do? Why? Because it’s disingenuous and unprofessional.

I’m not saying don’t talk to people. And I’m certainly not saying never talk to a stranger. But I am saying the industry needs to upgrade most of the training I hear about. And that folks means it is up to us. When you train your business builders to attend an organization to “see who you can get” rather than to get involved and offer what you can give, it is going to continue to drive down the reputation of our industry…and drive away our business builders not to mention customers. It’s obnoxious.

I know of business network groups who have “banned” network marketers because of this kind of business practice! And to drive that home a bit, how many of you shouted with joy when you found out your company was network marketing? hmmmm

Let’s put this into perspective. How many times do you go to a party and meet someone who’s a real estate agent and they ask you if you’d like to buy (or sell) a home?

Or how many times are you at a party and the person you’re talking to manipulates the conversation to find out you don’t have life insurance and then wants to sell you some?

Or have you ever met a dentist at a party who said to you, “you ought to come into the office” because s/he could straighten your teeth?

Why not? Because it’s not professional. But we teach, train and sometimes bully our new business builders into doing this. I had an upline in Excel that told me (and everyone else in his downline) that anyone who wouldn’t be my long distance customer wasn’t really my friend and I should tell them so! Yikes!

I know that one of the keys to build a successful MLM business is to get in front of new people all the time. But the only way that works is to be invited in – not to push or trick ourselves in. We need to cultivate professional relationships by working with others on projects, in professional communities and organizations.

If you want our industry to take its rightful place as a powerful way for people to take charge of their lives –

Then its time we build networks not crash them.

As networkers we are all looking for that person with the ever expanding sphere of influence. Yes? Aren’t the best sponsors exactly what they are looking for?

I know this will take a little longer. But businesses are built systematically and typically by members of the community..

Wouldn’t you love it if the next time you tell someone you’re a network marketer they tell you a wonderful story about a networker they met once.

What do you think?