Savvy Sponsoring Strategies | Issue #49 | March 7th, 2008

Personal Note:

Hey Folks,

Thanks for your comments about our last ezine.  It seems (hehe) that I'm not the only one who has to pull themself out of the muck and mire of long term overwhelm. In my last ezine I promised that I’d talk in this issue about how to avoid (rather than dig out) those back to the wall, long stints of overwhelm and chaos.

Clearly it can be done. I’m not saying that things won’t come your way that can (and will) throw you off track. We’re all human and life can change in minutes. In just minutes, everything can be different.

And typically life's curve balls are not easy to deal with. But, they can be dealt with. And the sooner we do so the better. I hope admitting that I lied to myself helps you to stay honest with you.

Here’s the deal, do you want to avoid going down that dead end path of overwhelm and chaos?  The trick is not lie to yourself about what is possible and what is not possible. Not always easy to do when we think of ourselves as Super(wo)men.

Warmly,

Jillian Middleton, Head Coach
Contact Me

 

P.S. I'm doing another complimentary coaching call on Monday, March 10th.  If you'd like to join us please click here to register.

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Featured Article:

 

The Re-Active Trap

 

 

 

Ever have your life going along just fine, thank you very much, and then POW, life delivers a one-two punch that changes things forever. When that happens, it can rock you right off center. I don’t know about you, but it humbles me and brings into sharp focus how fragile life is.

None of us are immune to these things. It’s all a part of life. We’ve lost pets, changed jobs, moved, dealt with illness and lost loved ones. And that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what life can bring. The one thing we can all count on, life will bring change and it won’t always be change we want.

Typically I can have two re-actions to these kinds of crisis. I can throw myself into work until I drop trying to “catch up.” Or I walk away feeling totally overwhelmed saying, "I'll do it tomorrow."

Neither action solves the problem. Let’s take the first example, I throw myself into work. The problem, I’m already depleted because of the crisis I’m dealing with. Therefore, I’m not very effective. And when I start working all the hours I can muster, it typically doesn’t take me long “to drop” either. Actually, it’s not uncommon for me to “drop” right into some kind of cold, flu or some other stress related illness.  Ringing any bells with you?

Great. Now I get to be mad at myself for getting sick as well as being behind. I don’t want to do anything, plus I’m fairly ineffective because I’m unwell! Not a great combination for success.

I don't fare much better in the second scenario, walking away in overwhelm saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” This produces guilt plus a mountain of (ever increasing) undone work and broken promises. Why?  Because of course, I don’t do it tomorrow. Nothing has magically changed.  I'm still in overwhelm.  And the situation snowballs. I’m further behind and feel guilty too. It’s not unusual for me to add that cold or flu into this scenario as well.

The typical end result of both of those scenarios is being so far behind that everything feels hopeless.

Time for Triage

What I talked about in the last ezine issue wasn’t theoretical. I was climbing out of overwhelm and regaining control. I don’t mean to amp up the drama here. But if you’re dealing with “high marks on the stress chart” your energy and focus are most likely going elsewhere. That means everything else is going to get short shrift including your business. (My Google search turned up this stress chart. According to this chart my stress score at the end of last summer was 378)! http://sweetchillisauce.com/Letters/Stresspic.html

Tom and I were dealing with death, sickness, his job change, and moving from one coast to another (and those are just the big ones). Talk about emotionally draining times. But I could have made it much easier on myself and everyone else around me. I could have been pro-active rather than re-active. I needed to do early triage.

Getting Really Honest

With everything (unplanned) that was happening, I was not going to complete everything I wanted to do.  It was time to stand back and be the CEO rather than the “technician” (E-Myth, by Michael Gerber).  I needed to make some business decisions. Tough to do? Of course it is.  Some things are going to be cut out and not get done.  That's never an easy process.  Plus there is another dynamic going on.  Getting caught up in the drama makes for a lot of energy.  All that energy can be pretty appealing. Unfortunately, it is negative energy.

When life turned things upside down on me, I decided not, - yes - not, to be rigorously honest with myself. I kept saying to myself and anyone else who would listen that I was going to do this, and then going to do that, and then going to… You get the picture.

I continued that behavior until my “red flag” (pushing my email send and receive button) broke through my stubborn hold on avoidance!  That’s when I got honest with myself.  That's when I acknowledged I was out of balance and not in any kind of control. It only took a few minutes with “Back to Basics,” (yes, that’s all it took) to get myself back on track. I’m not saying that everything got fixed that day, but I got focused. I was on my way.

You know what else, I can pretty much tell you the day I choose overwhelm.  I know when things are knocked off track (just like you do). And I know, realistically that whatever I had planned didn’t include this “change.” But I decided to lie to myself and pretend that I could get it all done and push myself into overwhelm.

Do you relate?  Well there's hope.  Here's what I could have done to avoid the heartache and stress.  Triage.  I needed to "sort my victims" as Dictionary.com defines "triage."  I needed to "determine priorities for action in time of emergency."  There was no other way to avoid chaos and ultimately getting really stuck. Because (again) the truth was I was not going to get it all done. But how do you do triage when you’re in chaos?

It's Time for STOP

Step Back
Think
Organize your list of things to be done
Pluck*

Obviously, what Tom and I were going through was hard. But tucking my head under my unconscious wing didn’t help. I added a lot of stress to my life (and Tom’s) because I didn’t take a realistic look at my business. I also amped up my feelings of overwhelm. If I had paired down my list to what I absolutely could get done and let the rest go (till later or maybe forever), life would have been much easier. Things that were really important to me would have gotten done. And no one would have expected things from me that I couldn’t deliver. (That in itself is a big guilt reliever.)

It's Your Choice - Damage Control or Damage Prevention

Here's what the STOP does for you.  You get to step back and get out of the “doing” mode (which can also be avoiding mode) for that CEO bigger picture point of view.

1. Take a quiet moment to think on paper so you can organize the list of things that you’d like to get done.
2. Give them a time in your calendar.
3. Tell everyone who is expecting something from you when they will get it, or if they won’t get it.

Number three above is really critical to your piece of mind. It stops those "broken promises."  The things you say you'll do and there is no way you'll ever have time to get them done. 

Bottom line.  You will not get to some things. It can’t be helped. There is nothing you can do about that. You don’t have time. But make sure everyone knows what they can or cannot expect from you.  No surprises.

You may not like having to do this. But don't you think it is better you decide what will, and what won’t, get done, rather than leaving it to chaos to decide. If you let chaos decide you end up dealing with guilt because of those broken promises and missed deadlines. Damage prevention is often difficult but it is always easier than damage control.

When life delivers a curve ball use a STOP to do triage and Back to Basics to get back on your way.

Then everyone knows what to expect plus the important things get done.

Please let me know if this ezine hits home with you and if the ideas and tools are helpful.

Comments? Leave one here!

Warmly,

Jillian Middleton

*Shamelessly adapted from The Inner Game of Work, by Timothy Gallwey

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How's your timing?

Are you ready to make a big change in your business?

Then you’re timing is great. Jillian is offering a Six Month Savvy Sponsoring
Program starting Monday, March 31 at 2:30 pm eastern time.

Not sure if you should spend the money or the time? Ask yourself this question.

Do you make sure your new recruits know both “what” they are supposed to do and also “how” to do it? (No hedging here.)

Do they know not only who they are going to call but are they confident about what to say and how to say it?

This is a kingpin. There are lots of things necessary in order to give yourself and you team the best chance of success. But, at the very least, your new recruits must know both what to do and how to do it.

Here’s why: If they don’t know exactly what to do they won’t do anything.

Join our complimentary call on Monday, March 10th for great tips on both the “what” and the “how” of getting your recruits out the door and for details of the upcoming Savvy Sponsoring program. You’ll be a better sponsor after the call.

>> Register now, walk away with great tools and no obligation.  (no charge to you)

 

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The Savvy Coach's Corner

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Team News

In our last ezine we promised you pictures of Baby Alexandra Lynne.  It is our pleasure to introduce her to you - and reintroduce her oh so very cool big sister Sam.  Tina you sure do make beautiful babies!

We also announced Norine's retirement in our team news last issue.  And even though they are planning to move (looking for gorgeous horse property in Idaho?  Check this out: http://www.15sylinelane.com ) They are not too busy packing to make room for a new (four legged) addition to their family.  I understand Kady is already bossing everyone around.

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Savvy Services & Programs:

No More 3-Foot Rule: What To Do Instead
Includes Class Notes in PDF format plus a 90 minute instructional audio on CD and MP3.
The 5-Steps on CD w/Jillian
Norine & Rick Includes a 60 minute audio on CD and Mp3
Getting Over Frontloading
How to build your business for stability rather than speed. 90 minute audio MP3

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Savvy Sponsoring Quick-Start Modules:

Volume 1: Setting up Store Hours
This practical nuts-and-bolts Module is specially designed to help you 'get back your time' so your life and business work for you (instead of the other way around).

Volume 2: Design Your Calendar
This practical nuts-and-bolts Module will help you design a calendar that allows you live now, yes right now, not sometime in the future. (And yes you can build a strong sustainable successful business at the same time.)

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Savvy Sponsoring Coaching Programs:

Are you ready to really take control of your business, leave your job behind – way behind - and create the lifestyle you’re dreaming about? Get all the tools, resources and support you need to make it happen in our 6-month Savvy Sponsoring Coaching Program.

Upcoming Classes:

• Savvy Sponsoring 6-month Coaching Program (Register for our upcoming free teleclass for more information)  Click Here!

Interested in a class for your company? Feel free to contact Jillian direct at 781-599-0604 or via email.

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RECOMMENDED READING:
Andrea J. Lee, Tina Forsyth, Money, Meaning and Beyond
W. Timothy Gallwey, The Inner Game of Work
Tim Sanders, Love is the Killer App (How To Win Business and Influence Friends)
Malcolm Gladwell, Blink
Covey S (1999), The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Simon and Schuster, London.
Michael Gerber, The E-Myth
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist, Harper Flamingo (Jan 1998)

I encourage you to share, replicate or forward this newsletter or article as long as the subscription, author links, and copyright information are kept intact.