Hello to you all.
I hope your month is wrapping up just the way you’d like it to! Mine certainly is! And that has a lot to do with all of you. What a privilege it is to work with so many of you.
In this issue I’d like you to get in your head with me for a minute. Think about the last money making activity you did. Were you following up with a potential business builder? Were you working with a potential customer? Maybe you were out making contacts and developing new relationships.
Do you find yourself thinking about what you’re going to say before the other person has finished talking? Do you worry about what to say? Why do you think that might be?
Often I think it’s coming from a scared place or a place of scarcity. You know the, “I gotta sponsor this person” place. But I think the root of scarcity thinking may actually have something to do with a lack of focus.
OK to make this work we need to have our terms well defined. What exactly is focus?
I’m going to throw out to you that focus is simply “paying attention.”
Is paying attention difficult? It can be…yet if you think about it, paying attention or focus is something that both animals and humans do. And they can do it really well.
Ever watch a kitten go after a moth or fly against a window? Does it have trouble “paying attention” to the critter it’s after?
How about a baby learning to walk? When she falls on her bottom for the umpteenth time does she loose interest and decide walking is not for her?
No of course not. But why not? What is driving her focus…why is she paying so much attention to walking.
Desire
The kitten’s desire for the fly was unshakable. The baby’s desire to walk was unshakable…so her focus stayed in place…
The result, she learned to walk.
As adults we seem to loose our focus. Why? In a word…distractions. We have competing agendas.
The kitten doesn’t have laundry to do.
The baby is not thinking about getting dinner on the table.
The kitten doesn’t have anyone telling her she’ll never catch the fly.
The baby trying to walk doesn’t hear, “Oh don’t try that you’ve never done it before.”
How would you like to distract your distractions?
It isn’t as hard as that might sound actually. And it isn’t anything that you need “to do.” It is more about simply being aware.
I’ll give you a couple of examples. The first example is one of a physical sport. I used this because I think sometimes it might be easier to “detach” ourselves from our mental process. I know I’m not teaching you to ride horses…but I think you’ll see the benefit of the example.
In order to have a pleasant ride horses need to be responsive to leg pressure (among other things). The idea is to get them to “bend around your leg.” In other words as you ride out of a corner the horse’s body is in a curve around your leg…looking something like one half of a set of parenthesis ) .
There are various steps to take to make this happen. If the horse was turning to the left its head would look left and the neck should curve (not a bend but a curve) moving into a really nice curved line along the body.
Often however when both rider and horse are learning this process, there is a bit of a push pull going on. Rider pulls and horse pushes the other way.
There is more than one way to approach this training. One way is the technical "how to do" steps. If we are into “doing” the steps of applying pressure from the left leg while moving your right leg back just behind the girth to hold the hind quarters in place, we are focused on what? Getting the horse to bend through the turn, we are focused on the end result.
But let’s change our focus to being aware instead of simply focused on the technical to dos. As we move our legs into position what would happen if you paid attention your body? Just watch for any stiffness in your moves. Did the leg come up “out of the iron?” The idea here would be not to make a big move to correct anything, just be aware of what you’re doing. Did your body stiffen, hands come up…in other words just watch your body.
How do we apply this technique to a conversation we might have with a potential business builder?
For example they tell you, "I don’t have enough time to do this business."
Your first thought, “Great, I know how to overcome this objection.” And you launch into “That’s exactly why you should do this business. It will give you time. Do something different or you get the same results.. etc.” (And just for the record yes it is important to have thought these things through - I believe that’s step number 2 – know your intention). ;)
Yet, your potential business builder doesn’t see how giving up more of her time is going to fix her time problem. She sees it as making things worse.
What do you do now…come back again with all your good “stock answer” reasons…
But here is what I’d suggest you do instead.
Become aware of how you feel when you’re in this situation. Is your anxiety up? Do you feel defeated? Are you angry with yourself? Are you angry with the person you’re speaking with? At what point do you give up and decide there is nothing you can do.
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Why be aware? Simple, nothing changes until we are clear about where we are. Awareness (being conscious) is the biggest tool we have in our tool kit…and yet it is the one we often apply the least.
And it isn’t because it is hard to do. It’s not.
It’s a decision to watch how we conduct ourselves. It is about recognizing our behavior. It is about being aware of our behavior.
I believe it will affect your bottom line incredibly.
Here’s why
In the two “doing” examples we are focused on a particular result. Getting the horse to bend around our leg…or getting the potential business builder to see the light about time and how your business would cure that ill.
Do we have control over results? Not typically. So if we fail to get the desired result we feel like a failure. Then we have a tendency to get skittish about trying again or we start to “over talk or over sell.” And even if we do succeed, we then have a tendency to rely on the particular thing we said or did that we believe got us the result. Now we have one more thing to remember and in fact it may not be the “magic pill.”
But what happens when we just focus on exactly what is happening. What happens when we focus on how we feel? What happens when we focus on the person we are talking to? What happens when in other words we are simply fully paying attention?
We don’t need to remember anything. There is no right or wrong. There is no result orientation. There is no fear of failure (or success). We are just present and the mind can relax and focus on what’s happening.
How does this translate into desire which fuels your focus and makes your job easier?
Now you become the kitten chasing the critter or the baby learning to walk. You’re present “and in the game.” Your desire to be "right there" keeps your focus. The kitten doesn’t think, "Which way am I jumping next?" She’s ready to go any direction because her attention is right there.
The baby doesn’t worry if she’ll fail to take that step, because she’s fully focused on her body and how it’s operating right then .. not her results. She’s not worrying about the step. She’s just present.
Go on I dare you
Give it a try :) I think you’ll be really surprised.
Imagine being so present in your conversations that you’re like the cat and never think about which way to jump next…or rather never have to think about what to say next. The right thing to say is right there because you are “right there.”
And that distracting inner voice which keeps you from being present and simply listening .. goes away. You’re now like that baby. You’re totally into what’s happening and responding. |
If you think you’d like to know more about how this works and pick up more tools to work with, I suggest reading any of Tim Gallwey’s books. He is the author of “The Inner Game of Tennis.” He has done a few coaching books around sports. "The Inner Game of Golf" is another (great book!). He also has a book entitled “The Inner Game of Work.” I highly recommend that one.
In fact the Advanced Savvy Sponsoring group is reading that book and working and practicing these concepts. Put your own mastermind together around this book! Working with others is a great way to move your learning curve way up. Or join us in our next coaching program to learn and practice this technique.
Speaking of the Savvy Sponsoring courses. I’m clear that the Savvy Sponsoring Courses are good (I witness the fantastic results). I’ve put my heart and soul into them. But I’m just as clear that it is because each of you who participate in the courses show up and play all out. Thanks for creating one of best MLM Masterminds in the industry!
And we are growing…which is also a lot of fun. Watch for the details in August for our second “Come One come All” Savvy Sponsoring Course. Join MLMers from other companies and learn Savvy Sponsoring Skills from me and the other participants. The money making ideas and tools fly fast and furious. Remember, just be in the game – be aware of what you’re doing!
Till next time,
Jillian |
