Hello to you all.
When was the last time you had a conversation with someone and you were completely comfortable. In fact you were amazed at how quickly the time went. You could be talking about anything; a sporting event, movie, game or hobby or anything that interests you. What happens in these kinds of conversations?
Typically they are give and take. You say your opinion or recollection or your disappointment or your happiness over an event and the then the other person does the same.
But there is something else going on that I think has some real value for us as network marketers.
These conversations are comfortable.
Why?
Because what you’re doing is “responding” to what the other person is saying. And in turn, that’s what they are doing with you.
Now don’t go away – not yet. I know that this looks obvious. What else is a conversation if it isn’t you saying one thing and someone else responding, and then you respond etc.
But if it is so “obvious” tell me why it doesn’t happen like that all the time. Why are these conversations different than say the one you have with the person you’re try to recruit into your business or interest in your product?
Here is the big difference. I see through coaching with so many of you, there is no “worrisome chatter” going on in your head saying, “What do I say next?" Or “How do I overcome that.” Or what ever else that clever chatter brings up.
Take a moment and think about the last time you talked about a movie. The conversation is usually about; how you loved this, or do you remember that, or how about when s/he does... Why does this conversation just flow with ideas just coming from “nowhere?”
Well here’s my take. You are present, you're paying attention and don’t have an agenda. You are simply listening. You are responding from your core.
Why are those conversations so difficult for us to have around our businesses? And by the way,
I know they are, because I was just asked again this week on my complimentary coaching call, “How do I bring the conversation to sponsoring? I can sell product but I can’t get business builders.”
Daniel Darrough (a Shaklee distributor in my Savvy Sponsoring Program) and I were talking about this during the coaching gym and she suggested a couple of things.
Jillian, before I took your course I really didn’t realize the importance of having an intention but not an agenda.
I used to approach my business with an agenda, which meant having an end result already planned. In fact, part of my agenda was to get that person to comply with my wishes. So it was rather self serving and self motivated.
But today, when I prepare with intention, it simply means being aware, present, holding a clear idea of who I am and what I want. But if it’s not the right idea for the person I’m talking with, then knowing it’s not right for me either and simply staying open to where that leads me next.
My conversations today are much more relaxed and enjoyable and of course my results have gone up along with my enjoyment.
Daniel Darrough
Shaklee
darrough@shaklee.net
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Here is just one simple technique right out of the course to help you enjoy better conversations.
Simply notice when you hear the chatter. Then also notice what your body is doing. Did you start to speak more quickly? Did your voice rise? Did your body stiffen, hands clench, teeth clench. What are your physical or emotional signs of stress? As soon as you hear the chatter or recognize the physical signs that’s the clue that you’re not really listening anymore. You are in agenda rather than intention.
Don’t “do” anything. Just notice it.
I have one more thing to ask of you, don’t be judgmental. None of, “I can’t believe I’m doing this again” regardless of how many times you “catch” yourself. Then just go back to participating in the conversation.
What happens when you become aware that you’re not present? What have you just become?
Hummm, right, present. There is nothing to correct anymore.
As usual, I love hearing from you, so let me know if you “see” any differences.
Till next time,
Jillian |
