Forgive my not so warm and fuzzy style today folks…but it still amazes me that there is a question about whether we should lead with the business opportunity or with our product.  Think about this for a minute and the answer is obvious —  YES to both.

You lead with the business when someone approaches you about the business.

You lead with the product when someone approaches you about the product.

This is not tough.  But we make it tough because of fear, hesitancy, shame, intimidation and/or business ignorance that is way too prevalent in our industry.  Here is the deal, it doesn’t matter:

• If you started your business because you fell in love with your product and then decided that you could make the business work for you.   OR

• If you started your business because of the income potential.

You present your product or your business depending upon which fills the need of the person you’re talking to.   It’s about them.

If you’re not comfortable presenting the business opportunity, there is a solution.  Get comfortable.  Do what you have to in order to get comfortable.  Spend some time writing out what a good business opening would look like for you (bullets work, keep it short and simple) .  Practice it ten times.  Then go try it with the next person you meet who has an interest in a house based business.

It makes a lot more sense (and dollars) than working on that next flyer, or doing the filing, or entering your orders.

Don’t ya think?

Ahh when we are in the business of helping others to succeed it’s tough to think that the best way for us to be, is selfish. But I think it is. In fact, I think one of the issues many people in network marketing suffer from is not being selfish enough.

I know it sounds strange. Network Marketing is a helping business and we are all so interconnected. But I see the results of not being selfish enough all the time.

Do you recognize any of these?

• Often working outside of your regular hours because someone else couldn’t (or wouldn’t) make one of the times you offered.
• Calling downline multiple times offering (begging?) to be of service.
• Working with someone over and over again who doesn’t follow through.
• Doing more in someone else’s business than they do so that it gets done.

Not enough selfishness here.

Here’s what I think. The more you ‘bend over backwards’ for someone, the less inclined they will be to take control of their business and do what it takes to make it work. Ultimately their business is doomed because they’re not doing it. But here’s the real scary part…so is your business…doomed.

Don’t let the interconnectedness of network marketing stop you from being “selfish” enough to take care of you. What do you think?

Warmly,

Jillian

PS – Please join me and 9 other business experts, coaches and luminaries for a F.R.E.E event exclusively for leaders in the direct selling, network marketing and multi-level marketing professions. You know I don’t promote a lot of events… but I had to tell you about this one because the speakers are so extraordinary. I know I’m there too but really look at this list.

• Margie Aliprandi, President of My Mind Makeover
• Jane Deuber, Leadership Expert and co-founder of the DSWA
• Leesa Barnes, President of Marketing Fit
• Michael Oliver President and Founder of Natural Selling Sales Training
• Sandy Grason, best-selling author of Journalution
• Scott Stratten, President of Un-Marketing
• Jillian Middleton, founder of Savvy Sponsoring Strategies
• Michael Port and Elizabeth Marshall, co-authors of The Contrarian Effect
• Keith Ferrazzi, best-selling author of Never Eat Alone
• Sarah Robinson, Direct Selling Business Strategist and Founder of Profit, Purpose and Beyond

Profit, Purpose and Beyond will take place October 13 through October 24, 2008 (excluding the weekend). One speaker will take center stage each day at 1pm EST.

Go here now to get the details and grab your seat before they are all gone! Remember folks, there is no charge for this event!

Last week I had the honor and great fun of speaking at the Usborne Book Convention in Tulsa, OK. It is my second year to be invited to speak with these folks and I’m honored to be a part of that convention. I’ve also had the good fortune to be working closely with many Usborne Consultants over the last couple of years and have a close bond with many of them.

Their convention, like most conventions, is packed with great ideas and lots and lots of information. A recurring theme I’ve heard this week after the convention is “Where do I start processing all of this?”

Anyone who has been to a great convention or weekend workshop knows what this feels like. So much good information. How do you sort through it? How do you put it all into action?

Well the truth is, you don’t You can’t put it all into action right away. Your feelings are right, listen to them. It is too much information. That’s why you feel overwhelmed or at least not totally sure where to start. The big problem, because we feel overwhelmed or unsure, is that too often we don’t start at all.

A Little Goes a Long Way

A little goes a long way is not a new idea and it certainly isn’t an original one. But it’s one we often forget when we have so much information to choose from. Why?

Choosing is tough. Because once we choose to do something we are also choosing not to do something else.

• Don’t worry about what you don’t implement.
• But implement something.

You may not see the results tomorrow from a little change in your business, but over time you’ll see a great change. Like most things, it’s the little steps that count. And often when we add those “little steps up,” they leverage themselves and 1 plus 1 starts to equal 3 or 4.

Here’s my suggestion:

1. Pick one thing that you remember right now.  Something that spoke to you.  Something like sounded interesting and you thought at the time “That’s a great idea!”The trick is to pick just one thing.
2. Find your notes and if there is an audio posted from whatever you attended listen to it again.
3. Break down the activity into small doable steps.
4. Put time aside in your calendar to implement each of the steps.

I promise if you pick one thing to implement in your business from that last teleclass, training or convention – just one – and then use the above steps to get it into place, the change in your business will be substantial. It may take a little time for it to show up, but the ultimately you’ll see the difference.

Put some time in your calendar right now to spend an hour to go over your notes and choose the one thing you’re going to implement immediately.

Have fun!

Warmly,

Jillian

I was talking with someone the other day and they told me they were disappointed because someone who said they were going to go to their website and sign up on June 1st didn’t do it. Their question to me was, What should I do now? What surprised me was that they would set up a potential new recruit to do that on their own. I felt they were really dropping the ball.

Why? Not because they might not do it as in this case (although that is in itself a pretty good reason), or that they couldn’t figure out the website. But because of how anti-climatic it is for the new recruit. Plus it impedes what we all work to create, excitement and forward motion. Explore this with me for a minute.

When is someone the most excited and motivated about their new business? Until that first check comes in, the answer is “right now.” Don’t you want to take advantage of that excitement and motivation? How can you do that if you’ve sent them off to fill in the blanks alone?

Here’s the deal. When they make the final click to pay for their kit and the privilege of doing business with your company, you need to be right there to say “Congrats!” Now, let’s get started.

Then you do the first steps you always do with new recruits. You start them using your getting started system. That means you start everyone the same way each time. Every new recruit is trained through each step of your system. The only time your system changes is when you find something that needs fine tuning or you decide to add or remove something.

This makes it much easier for your recruit to learn exactly what she needs to learn in order to create financial possibilities in her business. If she creates enough financial possibilities some of those will turn into financial probabilities and some of those will turn into solid business.

Here is what else you accomplish. If you’re using the same system each time you start someone, then you’ll be able to train them to use the same system too. You are less likely to get resistance to your ideas and coaching, if your system helped them become successful.

If you send someone to your website to sign up without you or without a binding, clear appointment immediately afterwards, you in affect throw away a great deal of energy and forward momentum. This is energy and momentum that you don’t have to do anything to create! It’s yours, simply for being organized and a good sponsor. That is, you give recognition to someone who has just made the decision to start their own business – and get them started now!

Warmly,

Jillian

Have you ever been really generous and handed a lead to someone on your team. They promise they’ll call. They’re excited. They’re grateful.

But they don’t call.

Why? It’s the difference between What we are supposed to do and How we are supposed to do it. Yes, they knew they should call the lead. But when it came time to pick up the phone and make the call, they were uncertain how to proceed from there.

If you’ll take the few minutes (even the 15 minutes) to go over not only what your recruit is to do but how to do it the difference in your business and your recruit’s business will be night and day. Or should I say broke or rich.

For a “how to lesson” on this go to Step 2 of the “Five Steps to Work Less and Make More Money In Network Marketing”

Enjoy your weekend.

warmly

Jillian

When you go into the hospital you expect to get care and treatment that allows you to get better. Right?

Yet, in 2005 nearly 94,000 patients in hospitals all over the country contracted a preventable drug resistant bacterial infection they didn’t have before they entered the hospital. Nearly one out of five who got the virus died.

It is true that 94,000 patients is a very small number of people when you consider how many people enter the hospital each year. But it is not a small number if it happens to you. An additional heartbreak, these infections were preventable!

What can this possibly have in common with your business?

This is a story about a doc with entrepreneurial spirit. No, he didn’t start a business to fight this resistant bacteria (MRSA). But I believe he acted as one would expect an entrepreneur to act.

Dr. Richard Shannon, Chairman of Medicine at Alleghany, Pittsburg General became started looking for a solution to the problem at large when MRSA struck his own practice.

In other words, Dr. Shannon stepped out of his one-to-one care model and studied the bigger picture. He looked at how existing systems supported unwanted results.

What did he do?

He set out to learn more about how to make care more reliable and safe. And he didn’t do it by throwing everything out and starting over. He built upon traditional experience. He also said something else that was the trigger for this ezine.

His take is the first step for any leader is ownership of the issue! Sound like an entrepreneur? I thought so too.

As I said earlier, DR. Shannon’s first step was to look at how existing hospital systems supported unwanted results. Interestingly, he found that anonymity was a culprit.

Here is what he found and his three prong approach.

1. Because infection data was reported in statistics, complex numbers, Dr. Shannon realized no one felt responsible. Here’s an example of how these infections were reported, “5.1 infections per thousand (intravenous) line days.” How’s that for anonymous and non-emotional? Anyone see a human face on those numbers?

   Dr. Shannon put a human face on the problem. If fifteen people were infected they said just that. Then the stories of those 15 people were told. People’s lives and how they were affected by the infection told the stories rather than anonymous numbers simply reporting data. Anonymity was replaced by real people’s loss.

2. All staff members were asked to observe their work and see where there were defects in current delivery of care that could propagate into error. Their job was to see with “new and different eyes.” This is an important piece because typically it is not one thing but a combination of things that create a problem.
3. When they encounter the possibility of infection they solved to root cause why it happened that day. Historically infections were reported months after they occurred loosing any chance of context to ascertain why it happened.

Now when an infection has occurred Shannon gets an email message. He goes to the bedside and asks one of these questions? Which question do you think he asks?

1. Who did it?
2. Why did it happen?

If you said “Why did it happen” you’re correct. The goal is not to ascertain blame but rather to find a reproducible solution that can be used 100% of the time to prevent the circumstance from happening again!

Let me ask you these questions:

1. In the bigger picture what’s your job as a sponsor?
2. Do you have preventable problems?
3. Have you taken ownership?

What is your job as sponsor?

Dr. Shannon’s take in the big picture was to provide care that was “safe and reliable.” When I was a sponsor I saw my job was to provide a solid proven business platform for my new recruit’s business? It was also my job to provide an environment for them to work through setbacks and celebrate successes.

Which of the following describes you?

• Do you take ownership (not blame) for the issues that recur in your business?
• Do you lament how many people start but don’t build.
• Do you wonder, “Where are all the good people?”
• Do you scrutinize your system(s) as they worked (or didn’t work) with each and everyone one who joins your team?

What does ownership look like?

• Does your weekly team meeting feel like a mastermind where people talk about their activity and how it’s working or not working?
• Does everyone leave that meeting with a “personal activity goal,” something inside them they’d like to change or continue to develop?
• Do your team members leave that meeting looking forward to “watching themselves” in action in order to learn more about themselves?

Hmmmm?

If all this sounds overwhelming to you, relax. It’s not. This is nothing more than systematic skill building. You are just as capable of running a winning, dynamic team as the next person. Ask any graduate of our “Savvy Sponsoring” program.

And for those of you saying, “I don’t have the time to build a business this way.” If you’re putting time into building a business, any amount of time, you have time to build it properly. It does not take more time to build a business right. It saves you time … and your sanity.

If you listen to the Terry Gross’s NPR interview of Dr. Shannon you’ll hear how he actually went to Alcoa and also Toyota to study their successful business systems. Do you think Dr. Shannon was determined to get a handle on something that had been plaguing medicine for years? Yes, so do I.

Our industry (like most small businesses) is plagued with a very poor success rate. However, it does not have to be that way. But in order for it to change in your business:

• Take ownership, it’s not about your recruits
• Look with new eyes and identify your problem areas.
• Build reproducible systems you use 100% of the time

I hope this ezine makes two things very clear:

1. You can build a financially successful and sustainable business.
2. If you don’t know how, like Dr. Shannon, work with someone who does know how.

Click Here if you’d like to hear Terry Gross’ January 9, 2008 NPR Fresh Air interview of Dr. Richard Shannon.

Warmly,

Jillian

It’s hard to actually say the “biggest reason” for failure is any one thing. But after coaching all these years, I do believe there are two huge reasons we have such a high failure rate in MLM. The first is we send our new recruits out to talk to people only knowing what to do but not being clear about how to do it. Another reason our new recruits stumble and never quite get back up, they’re not emotionally in the game. Often they don’t have a clear idea of why they’re starting a business. (I know about the ‘extra money’ thing. But where’s the emotional attachment in that?) And if they’re not clear about how their business is going to change things for them, neither are we. If you follow this outline with every recruit it should make a huge difference to them and you!

If you live in a perfect world these are the questions for your first meeting. (Don’t worry if you don’t live in a perfect world, there’s a solution for you too below.)

Ask your new recruit,

1. “How much money do you want to make in your first three months so this business is real for you?”
2. ‘In the longer run over the next six months to a year what kind of money would you like to make?”
3. “How will that change your every day life?” (This is a huge question!)
   All of these questions start your new recruit’s vision. These questions feed an emotional reason to keep them going when the going isn’t so easy.
4. Store hours – Without good clear working hours your recruit’s business courts chaos. A business won’t survive chaos. If you don’t have a great system to get your new recruit and their friends and family on board with store hours check out our Savvy Sponsoring Store Hours CD
5. Identify how many events and what kind of events your new recruit needs to do in order to accomplish their first set of goals.
6. Out of the number of dates she has available to her for the month, if possible circle more dates than she needs to meet her goals. It seems easier to fill six of eight spaces than six of six! All of us can buy calendars. But knowing how to use them makes them a great tool and not something we either leave behind or forget to open. Need help to make your calendar work?
7. Ask her to identify (right then) at least 3 to 5 people who she thinks will be interested in playing and working with her in a business of their own.
8. Identify the first few people she’s going to speak with about holding an event that she believes will only be hostesses. (Make sure she realizes she could be wrong and to always ask if they have interest in starting their own business. The best way to do this in my coaching opinion is using the “after thought” technique. Only a couple of sentences necessary.
9. It is your job to go over Step 2 with your new recruit for each of her first contacts. That means people who are going to simply be customers and for sure all those people she identified for you in step 7 above. Every minute you spend making sure your new recruit is ‘thoroughly trained” in what they are going to stay (written out, rehearsed and then practiced) will be worth solid gold to both of you.
10. Follow through using the “Five Steps” to make sure she knows exactly what to do with those who say, “Yes, I’m interested.” (I’ll call you next week is not the appropriate response.)? You also need to use the “Five Steps” to set her next follow up with you to go over her success and frustrations.

And If you Don’t Live In A Perfect World

Ok, so you don’t live in a perfect world. There isn’t enough time in your first meeting to get through this agenda. What then?

The first three questions are essential. Do those! I would also do store hours with every new recruit in your first meeting. Please note I did not say, “Send them home to do store hours.” I said do them with your new recruit.

Even if you can’t get any further than through store hours because you have no time left check out what you have done. You’ve left her with an emotional response to her business and time for her business. Huge.

If you only get through the first four or so, then using the “Five Steps” (if you’re not familiar with our “Five Steps” click on the link) set up a firm follow up appointment and give her homework. Ask her to write out:

• What life would be like if her business was bringing in the kind of money she’d like to make.
• Ask her to describe her day.
• What would her week look like?

This is a good exercise to keep the excitement juices going before you meet the next time. She can also start her list in between appointments.

By the way, she doesn’t need to know how many events she needs to do unless you can start step 2. The events can look really hard unless they know how they are going to make that happen. Your next appointment with her needs to be ASAP. Not too much time in between. We don’t want her saying too much to people until she’s trained.

If you split this process up, make sure that you go back over the first three steps and store hours (five minute review) when you meet the next time. Do this by asking questions about her vision. Ask her to read to you what she wrote. (Make sure you ask her to bring it along).

Then complete the process so she’s got her calendar planned out and a solid idea of what she’s going to say and do.

Keep an eye on her ability to keep moving through the material the first time you meet. If her eyes are rolling back in her head she needs a break. It may only be a few minutes, maybe another appointment. You’ll get more productive time out of someone if you’re meeting early in the day than in the evening after their job.

If you start each and every new recruit this way your new recruit will have a solid business tract to run on. She will also have a great system with which to train her own recruits.

The big payoff, your business is starting its new recruits with a system. A system any person can use. Now how duplicable is that!

Warmly,

Jillian

Too often we have our attention on things we have no control over; specifically our results. We focus our attention on what the other person is going to do. Yet, we have absolutely no control over them.

It’s true we have control over what we say, do and how we act. But as good as we might be at those things, it is not a good indicator of what someone else might do. You can be the most eloquent. You can be a master at enrolling. You can have the best opportunity for someone to make a change. But if they aren’t motivated, none of it will happen.

If we stay focused on things we can’t control, it doesn’t take long for anxiety, disappointment to take hold. Then the resistance to continue sets in.

What should we be focused on?

Only what we can control. Ourselves. How does that make for a robust, financially sustainable business? Because by doing the action we have control over we create possibilities. Think about that for a minute.

You make a call to someone who may be thinking about starting their own business. Did you create a possibility? Sure you did. You created the possibility they may say “No” or may say “Yes” to you. Do you have control over what they say? Nope. But you do have control over how many possibilities you create.

How do you get proficient?

Ever hear the joke about the guy who stops someone walking by and asks, “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?” The answer is “practice, practice, practice.”

But that’s really only part of the answer. If someone was practicing the violin daily with all the focus they could muster, but didn’t understand music would they get to Carnegie Hall? No of course not. The adage practice, practice, practice means, “Improve what you do and how you do it.” If you keep practicing the same thing the same way but expect different results, it’s not to Carnegie Hall you’ll get!

How do you get better and better at what you do? You pay attention. You take a few minutes after each possibility you create and ask yourself questions like these:

• How did I do?
• Did I feel comfortable throughout the conversation?
• Did I listen more than I talked?
• Did my questions help to me understand what they really wanted?
• Did the person I was talking to appear comfortable?
• If not, did it change during the conversation?
• What was my reaction to their change?
• Did I check out if they changed, or ignore it or simply change my approach?

In my coaching practice I call this debriefing. Taking a few minutes after each call, or event, or activity will give lots of insight into how you might want to change or strengthen your approach.

And read and then read some more. Ask questions of those who know more than you. Join a mastermind of your professional peers. Hire a coach. Go to business seminars. (If you would like to be more proficient in your business in, consider our Savvy Sponsoring program.)

As Michael Gerber says in the E-Myth Revisited, “…people who are exceptionally good in business aren’t so because of what they know but because of their insatiable need to know more.”

Why keep track of the points?

How many people do you need to talk to before someone says, “Yes, I’d like to start a business? How many people do you need to talk to before someone is willing to meet with you? Or, host an event for you? Or, buy from you.

Having a good working knowledge of these details in your business is known as your “ratio of success.” It’s tough to run a business if you don’t know how many calls it takes before someone says, “Yes, I’ll listen to you.”

The only way to determine your ratio of success is to keep track of what you do. When you first start out you’ll take a guess at what you think. But the only way to know for sure what kind of activity you’ll need to generate, in order to get the results you want, is to determine your ratio of success.

Goals don’t have to be tough or a guessing game.

Even though you have no control over the people you’re talking to, you do have control over how many possibilities you create.

• You determine the work you do.
• You determine how many calls you make.
• You determine how many real connections you make at any event.
• You determine when you do your follow-up.

I’m sure you’re getting the picture. As soon as you know how many times you need to repeat an action before you get a desired result, you now know your ratio of success.

Your business and the money you make is not a guessing game.

It is really straight forward.

Make your calls. You create possibilities. Get better at what you do and you get proficient. The more points you get, the more possibilities you create. The better you get at creating possibilities the more profit you make.

Not hard. Simply, straight forward good business foundations. If you would like to be more proficient in your business, apply straight forward good business foundations to your business. If you don’t know how or simply aren’t doing what you know you should, ask for help. Go public. Put yourself on the spot. You could even hire a coach (Our new Savvy Sponsoring program is all about giving you the tools you need and keeping you accountable.)

It is easy to keep score.

Check out our Points = Possibilities + Proficiency = Profits tally sheet.

You will be amazed at what this simple tally sheet will tell you about how you’re spending your work day.

Go on Take a Chance Create a day full of Possibilities And keep track of it!

Warmly,

Jillian

How do you create possibilities?

Calls, Calls, Calls,

Here are the questions that most people hate to answer.

How many calls did you make this week?

How many possibilities did you create this week?

Here is the simple truth about your business.

You only have control over what you can do. You can create possibilities. Here are the possibilities for your possibilities

• They say, “I don’t want to talk to you.” It ends there. You’re exactly where you were before you called.
• They say “Yes, I’ve got a minute to talk.” Now you’ve got the possibility of creating a new relationship.
• They ultimately say, “No thanks I don’t want your product.” You’re exactly where you were before you called.
• They ultimately say, “Yes, I’d like to try your product.” Your possibility turned into a business relationship. You’re better off than before you called.
• They ultimately say, “No thanks, I don’t want to start a business.” You’re exactly where you were before you called.
• They ultimately say, “Yes, I’d like to start a business.” Your possibility turned into a business relationship. You’re better off than before you called.

Two big questions for you:

1. Are you creating possibilities?

2. Are you creating possibilities in the best possible way?

If the answer to either question is “No.” Isn’t it time you did something about it? You have absolutely no control over the results of what you do. The results are out of your hands. But, you do have full control over how often and how well you create possibilities.

• You have full control over how many possibilities you create.
• You have full control over how many calls you make.
• You have full control over how confident you are.
• You have full control over how well prepared you are.

Want Help?

• Get on every complimentary call we offer.
• Read everything you can get your hands on about business. Pay particular attention to “sales.”
• Do what you have to in order “to get over you.”

If you need help in these areas check out our upcoming Savvy Sponsoring program. Only two days left for early bird savings. Savings end March 21st!

There is no need for you to feel unprepared, afraid and unwilling to create possibilities in your life and business.

If you wanted to learn yoga or tennis what would you do? If you want your kids to learn to skate, play the piano or dance what do you do?

Do you or your business deserve less?

Bottom line: If you are not doing in your business what it is going to take for it to be successful, go find help.

If not us, then someone else.

It’s that simple.

Calls, Calls, Calls, create possibilities that create results.

Click here for information about our Savvy Sponsoring program. You have till Friday March 21st to save up to $465.

Folks, there is no time like the present time to take control.

Warmly,

Jillian

Ever have your life going along just fine, thank you very much, and then POW, life delivers a one-two punch that changes things forever. When that happens, it can rock you right off center. I don’t know about you, but it humbles me and brings into sharp focus how fragile life is.

None of us are immune to these things. It’s all a part of life. We’ve lost pets, changed jobs, moved, dealt with illness and lost loved ones. And that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what life can bring. The one thing we can all count on, life will bring change and it won’t always be change we want.

Typically I can have two re-actions to these kinds of crisis. I can throw myself into work until I drop trying to “catch up.” Or I walk away feeling totally overwhelmed saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Neither action solves the problem. Let’s take the first example, I throw myself into work. The problem, I’m already depleted because of the crisis I’m dealing with. Therefore, I’m not very effective. And when I start working all the hours I can muster, it typically doesn’t take me long “to drop” either. Actually, it’s not uncommon for me to “drop” right into some kind of cold, flu or some other stress related illness. Ringing any bells with you?

Great. Now I get to be mad at myself for getting sick as well as being behind. I don’t want to do anything, plus I’m fairly ineffective because I’m unwell! Not a great combination for success.

I don’t fare much better in the second scenario, walking away in overwhelm saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow.” This produces guilt plus a mountain of (ever increasing) undone work and broken promises. Why? Because of course, I don’t do it tomorrow. Nothing has magically changed. I’m still in overwhelm. And the situation snowballs. I’m further behind and feel guilty too. It’s not unusual for me to add that cold or flu into this scenario as well.

The typical end result of both of those scenarios is being so far behind that everything feels hopeless.

Time for Triage

What I talked about in the last ezine issue wasn’t theoretical. I was climbing out of overwhelm and regaining control. I don’t mean to amp up the drama here. But if you’re dealing with “high marks on the stress chart” your energy and focus are most likely going elsewhere. That means everything else is going to get short shrift including your business. (My Google search turned up this stress chart. According to this chart my stress score at the end of last summer was 378)! http://sweetchillisauce.com/Letters/Stresspic.html

Tom and I were dealing with death, sickness, his job change, and moving from one coast to another (and those are just the big ones). Talk about emotionally draining times. But I could have made it much easier on myself and everyone else around me. I could have been pro-active rather than re-active. I needed to do early triage.

Getting Really Honest

With everything (unplanned) that was happening, I was not going to complete everything I wanted to do. It was time to stand back and be the CEO rather than the “technician” (E-Myth, by Michael Gerber). I needed to make some business decisions. Tough to do? Of course it is. Some things are going to be cut out and not get done. That’s never an easy process. Plus there is another dynamic going on. Getting caught up in the drama makes for a lot of energy. All that energy can be pretty appealing. Unfortunately, it is negative energy.

When life turned things upside down on me, I decided not, – yes – not, to be rigorously honest with myself. I kept saying to myself and anyone else who would listen that I was going to do this, and then going to do that, and then going to… You get the picture.

I continued that behavior until my “red flag” (pushing my email send and receive button) broke through my stubborn hold on avoidance! That’s when I got honest with myself. That’s when I acknowledged I was out of balance and not in any kind of control. It only took a few minutes with “Back to Basics,” (yes, that’s all it took) to get myself back on track. I’m not saying that everything got fixed that day, but I got focused. I was on my way.

You know what else, I can pretty much tell you the day I choose overwhelm. I know when things are knocked off track (just like you do). And I know, realistically that whatever I had planned didn’t include this “change.” But I decided to lie to myself and pretend that I could get it all done and push myself into overwhelm.

Do you relate? Well there’s hope. Here’s what I could have done to avoid the heartache and stress. Triage. I needed to “sort my victims” as Dictionary.com defines “triage.” I needed to “determine priorities for action in time of emergency.” There was no other way to avoid chaos and ultimately getting really stuck. Because (again) the truth was I was not going to get it all done. But how do you do triage when you’re in chaos?

It’s Time for STOP

• Step Back
• Think
• Organize your list of things to be done
• Pluck*

Obviously, what Tom and I were going through was hard. But tucking my head under my unconscious wing didn’t help. I added a lot of stress to my life (and Tom’s) because I didn’t take a realistic look at my business. I also amped up my feelings of overwhelm. If I had paired down my list to what I absolutely could get done and let the rest go (till later or maybe forever), life would have been much easier. Things that were really important to me would have gotten done. And no one would have expected things from me that I couldn’t deliver. (That in itself is a big guilt reliever.)

It’s Your Choice – Damage Control or Damage Prevention

Here’s what the STOP does for you. You get to step back and get out of the “doing” mode (which can also be avoiding mode) for that CEO bigger picture point of view.

1. Take a quiet moment to think on paper so you can organize the list of things that you’d like to get done.
2. Give them a time in your calendar.
3. Tell everyone who is expecting something from you when they will get it, or if they won’t get it.

Number three above is really critical to your piece of mind. It stops those “broken promises.” The things you say you’ll do and there is no way you’ll ever have time to get them done.

Bottom line. You will not get to some things. It can’t be helped. There is nothing you can do about that. You don’t have time. But make sure everyone knows what they can or cannot expect from you. No surprises.

You may not like having to do this. But don’t you think it is better you decide what will, and what won’t, get done, rather than leaving it to chaos to decide. If you let chaos decide you end up dealing with guilt because of those broken promises and missed deadlines. Damage prevention is often difficult but it is always easier than damage control.

When life delivers a curve ball use a STOP to do triage and Back to Basics to get back on your way.

Then everyone knows what to expect plus the important things get done.

Please let me know if this ezine hits home with you and if the ideas and tools are helpful.

Comments? Leave one below!

Warmly,

Jillian Middleton

*Shamelessly adapted from The Inner Game of Work, by Timothy Gallwey